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After the baby has been born there can initially be a sense of relief, that everything has happened, the baby has finally arrived, everything appears to be fine and now you can work out down to building a beautiful family together. but this can be a time when a new set of worries and issues appear.
Many new parents have issues about being good parents. first time parents especially worry about doing the best thing, treating the baby properly, possibly damaging or hurting it in some way. Whilst it can be distressing to feel this way, it is also an indicator of how caring a parent you are. anxiety about being a good parent is natural, but let us look at some ways to allay these fears and issues so that you can delight in your new baby fully.
– let others help. Often, especially at first there will be a plethora of people wanting to help, providing advice. It can in some cases be challenging to tolerate it all and some new parents find the attention overwhelming. They want to be alone with their new baby for awhile and bond with it as a family. So let others help in much more useful ways. let them possibly help with cooking the evening meal, or tidying the house, or doing some ironing. All these things respect the people wanting to help and take some of the domestic pressure away.
– It is good to mix and meet with new parents. They will be able to empathise and share stories, concerns, advice. Mums can talk about their issues about feeding, sleeping and much more personal matters like their bodies, their partners. Dads can talk about their issues. Some men struggle with the arrival of a new baby. For some men the baby only becomes real when it is actually born and bonding can take a little much more time than for a woman.
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– try to schedule some ‘me’ time. allow yourself time to read a magazine or have a charm treatment. consider getting some other Mums together and have a pamper session. having a manicure, pedicure, makeup can be a beautiful way of getting to know each other, not just as Mums.
– try to schedule some ‘us’ time. It is beautiful to delight in being close as a family, but remember about being a couple too. once the baby is into a routine allow yourselves to plan ‘us’ time and count on the baby to a reputable babysitter. delight in an evening out together as a couple. dress up and delight in having fun together again.
– keep up-to-date with the news. It can be easy to become completely submerged in the world of babies and children. remember who you were before the baby was born and read topical articles or view the new highlights as typically as you can. keep yourself interesting for your own sake and for your partners sake too.
– Sex can be a problem area after a baby has been born. women can become self-conscious about their bodies. A womans’ body has been through a major process with pregnancy and then the readjustment afterwards. It takes time to recover emotionally, physically and hormonally. A man in some cases sees his partner in a different way after she has given birth. Plus, typically both of you are very exhausted at the end of the day, maybe too exhausted for sex. Take the pressure off yourselves, but remember about being loving, tactile, sensual, if not sexual. women typically need reassuring that their partners still find them attractive. Being sensual and close is an essential acknowledgment that a woman is still stunning to her man.
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– keep some money for treats. money may be a little tighter after a baby has come along. typically mum is the one who earns less for a time after the birth. It is essential to keep some money aside with which to purchase a lipstick or a perfume from time to time. It helps to keep the feeling of still having some independence.
Susan Leigh, Counsellor and Hypnotherapistwww.lifestyletherapy.net
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